मन कुछ खोया खोया रहता है


 

मन कुछ खोया खोया रहता है,
उछलता है ज़रा सी खुशी मिलने पर,
और अकेले होने पर उदास हो जाता है,
कुछ तो है जो ये हर वक्त ढूँढता है,
मन कुछ खोया खोया रहता है

कभी किसी अन्जान को भी समझ लेता है अपना,
कभी अपनो से भी दूर रहता है,
छुपाता है सबसे अपना हाल कभी,
कभी बात करने के लिए एक दोस्त ढूँढता है,
मन कुछ खोया खोया रहता है

कभी बचपन मे जाना चाहता है,
कभी जवानी का प्यार पाना चाहता है,
कभी सोचता है कि जी लिया बहुत,
कभी सब कुछ फिर से शुरु करना चाहता है,
जाने क्या चाहता है, जाने क्या करता है,
मन कुछ खोया खोया रहता है

तारीफ का भूखा है,
कोई करे तो हवा में उड़ने लगता है,
प्यार का प्यासा है,
कहीं से मिले तो उसी ओर चल पड़ता है,
रूठ जाए कोई इससे तो,
बच्चे की तरह ज़मीन पार पैर पटकने लगता है,
कभी झूमता है किसी अन्जाने अंहकार में,
कभी भगवान से शिकायत ये करता है,
कभी टिकता नहीं एक जगह पर ये,
ये मन कुछ खोया खोया रहता है,

पीड़ा हो तन की,
या कोई उलझन हो किसी प्रियजन की,
अपनी रातों की नींद ये खोता रहता है,

लालची है खुशियों और अपनेपन का,
हर पल कुछ खोजता रहता है,
पर अन्तर नहीं समझता सपने और सच्चाई में,
सच्चाई को देख अपनी आँखें ये बंद करता है,
झूठ की उम्र खत्म होते ही,
अकेला बैठ कर ये रोता रहता है,
ये मन कुछ खोया खोया रहता है।।।

‘आपकामित्र’ गुरनाम सिहं सोढी
२७ फरवरी, २०१२

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The Mood Swings

(This is not a medical article, so if you are looking for some remedy or counseling, you are at a wrong blog)

We get happy when someone loves us, when we get talked to by the people we like, when we are surrounded by our friends, when we feel important in any way. Everything feels alright. But suddenly something happens and we just get pissed of everything, we get annoyed by the interference of close ones, we want our solitude (after all we should spend some time with ourselves), we just want to shut the voices around us, we start to feel like we are not important to anyone. Everything just seems so fake and messed up. Yes, more or less, most of us are victims of mood swings.
Mood Swings!!! What’s that?
In simple words, a mood swing is a rapid change in mood, essentially visiting the extremes. Why does it happen? If its a girl people would say she is PMSing. If its a boy, then people will say he is behaving in girly manner. (Hey, boys are emotional creatures too). Some blame it to their sun-signs, moon-signs or numerology or tarot cards or just the news paper guy who threw the paper into the water pool in your garden. Psychiatrist would say its a mental disorder and counseling sessions are required. Physician would say these are symptoms of caffeine or nicotine withdrawal symptoms. Some not so witty guy would say it is just a “chemical locha” in your mind. Your friend will say “Tera to roz ka natak hai” and the girl or boy who “understands” you will decide to leave you alone and convince herself that you need time with yourself and the worst case, your parents would think that you are going through a breakup and fear that you will go to depression if they don’t interrupt.
But how do we define a mood swing. We, the victim of mood swings. If we analyze closely, it just depends on our expectations and how the world around us behaves in real. If there strikes a coincidence and things happen as we desire, or possibly even better than we expected, we get overjoyed. And suddenly something else broke the illusion that we are the ruler of our world, our heart goes into deep pit of depression. We start assuming that the happiness which came to us momentarily was FAKE and we are the most unlucky people on earth. 
What to do?
If I suggest anyone what to do to get rid of mood swings I would be like a doctor who has not tasted his own medicine. (Most of the doctors have not.. actually). But the thing is to come out of it as soon as possible. One thing I would mention is that it is perfectly alright to have mood swings. We are humans, we expect and sometime things don’t meet them. We just need to accept it. It might be someone else day to get what they want.
 As some wise man said “Everything is in our mind” So get it out of your mind. Good or bad… Any extreme is bad. So try to be in a balance mind. Try to forget which made you unhappy. Don’t think that remembering happy things about that that the same person will make you feel happy, it will just make the case worst. Music and good food help a lot. Those are not fools who say chocolates are mood up-lifters. And if it still does not help, Just sleep over it. A nice sleep helps forget biggest depression. (You can’t sleep? Sorry.. again wrong blog)
So in simple words, It is our problem and we have to get over it. No one but we ourselves can help us.

Wings of Fire: An Autobiography by A.P.J. Abdul Kalam

Genre: Autobiography, Inspiration, Motivation
Date Completed: 20th February, 2012
Overall Rating: 5/5

Wings of Fire is an autobiography of Bharat Ratna Dr. A P J Abdul Kalam, former President of India  It was written by President Kalam and Arun Tiwari. The autobiography first published in English, has so far been translated and published in 13 languages.
Life of Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam and his achievements is a living example for millions of youth. At this age also he is the perfect youth icon. Missile man of India, man of true visionary, after completing his tenure decided to pen down his experience, not only to give the credit to his seniors but to inspire the youth of country by giving example from his life. Whatever the circumstances are, everyone can touch the epitome of success. Kalam is a true visionary who gave the country the vision of becoming a developed nation by year 2020. He lays emphasis on the youth being the ambassador of this vision.
This book is considered as a Bible for every student and youth of the country and has been adopted in compulsory reading list in many schools and universities.

Summary: 

The book describes the life of APJ Abdul Kalam from his childhood and his tough journey from a small village in Rameshvaram to the peak of success. The book is full of real life incidences and more importantly his perception of things. The positive thinking of a small child is marvelous and inspires the reader to see the things with a completely different view point. In one incidence Kalam says that he saw his father keeping his sleepers outside the mosque before going for praying. It gave him a teaching that one should keep every other thought out of office before starting the work.
Things like importance of love and compassion, God and devotion, dedication towards work, vision of doing something great and working with full dedication towards the goals, are put in every page of the book. The book also describes how simple life Kalam has spent.
The book is also a dedication to all the great personalities like Dr. Sarabhai, Prof. Dhawan and many many more ppl with whom he worked. The far sightedness of these people who led our country towards the self dependency in field of space research, missiles, rockets and nuclear weapons is wonderfully described in the book. Not only the hard-work, Dr Kalam also underlines the importance team building, motivating the team, assigning proper roles to the team members and maintaining a balance in leading and compassion with co-workers.
The journey of India in the field of missiles and rocket science is beautifully described in a summary form. The ups and downs, various setbacks met on the way, bureaucratic barriers, diplomatic boundaries which came before him are explained and how he kept on moving through the hurdles gives the reader a thrilling experience.

Conclusion: 

The name APJ Abdul Kalam in itself commands respect. And this book is just a glimpse of the reasons behind that. The autobiography is a must read as many number of times as you can. Or better to read it slowly and in peace.
And do keep an highlighter with you. On every other page you will find such beautiful observations and teachings that you will want to highlight it to read again.
 
In short, its not only a must read but a must keep and must cherish book.

वेलंटाईन डे

एक नज़र जो किसी ने हमको देख लिया,
लगा कि खुदा ने अपना कर के देख लिया,

हो गया हर डर मेरे दिल से रुख्सत,
जब किसी के चेहरे पे हम ने मर के देख लिया,

सुना था जानलेवा है एक झलक तक उसकी,
फिर भी उसे छुप छुपके हमने देख लिया,

बादलों में देख कर एक दिन सूरत उसकी,
अपने सफर का रुख उसकी ओर करके देख लिया,

खाली आँखों में ख्वाब भी टिके ना थे आज तक,
ख्वाबों में उसे अपना कर के देख लिया,

उनके इन्कार से नहीं, तकल्लुफ से डर है मुझे,
खुद तो आज बेतकल्लुफ होके हमने देख लिया,

मेरी नादानी उनकी नाराज़गी का सबब होगी बेशक,
पर फिर भी सोचा कि बहुत डर के देख लिया,

जानता हूँ मेरी बातों को अनसुना कार देगी वो,
फिर भी दिल कि बातों को लफ्ज़ों में भर के देख लिया

‘आपकामित्र’ गुरनाम सिहं सोढी
१४ फरवरी, २०१२

PS I Love You by Cecelia Ahern

Genre: Romance, Tragedy, Moving On,
Date Completed : 12th February, 2012
Overall Rating : 4/5 
The book was pending for a long time. I even refused to watch the film before reading the book. Its a very famous book as well as a movie. So writing a review might not be very fruitful. 
Summary: 
The novel is a fiction work by the author describing the unending love between two lovers and then husband and wife. The love could not end even after death has parted them. 
Holly and Gerry, childhood sweethearts, got married. But soon after they find out that Gerry has a tumour and could not live for long. Holly was a carefree woman and Gerry was worried for her. So before leaving he left a list for her. The list had envelopes for each month of the year to come by which had instructions for her so that she is able to start living her life without him. Each envelope had a letter with some task at the top and PS I Love You written on the footnote. The time goes on and his letters along with her family and her best friends help Holly to move on in life
My Views:
The book is beautifully written with emotions filled in every page of the book. The endless love of both husband and wife is portrayed beautifully. The husband character and his feelings before dieing are equally marvelously explained as are the awful situation of wife after the tragic incidence. The book surely does lay emphasis of such great love in everyone’s life and inspires lovers to love each other like the characters. Also it shows the strength of someone who is left alone in this world and is forced to live with the memories forever. The importance of moving on and the thought that “The Life Goes on Whatever might be the situation” is underlined.
Conclusion:
The book is surely a must read and a must keep. It deserves the affection and fame it has earned.

The Injured me… Part 3

As they say, the troubles never come alone. A jerk property dealer was trying to grasp our land from us. With duplicate papers and forged signatures, he had apparently sold the land to someone and when we started the construction work, he sent us the legal notice to us. To launch a official complaint against him, my mom had to come here. She came. First time she was seeing her son in this condition. She started crying at the bus stand when i reached there to console her. With visits to police commissioner and then local police stations, replying to the legal notice and many such things, the land issue is now resolved and the events involved call for another big diary entry.
Six weeks went by and the cast was removed a day before holi on my request to doctor. I finally went home for the festival. The hand was still not Ok. it had to go through a physiotherapy session. The doctor advised for it after observing the progress for almost a month. The physiotherapy or the pain sessions were supposed to last only 10 days. I was promised about the sure recovery within ten days. I had to go to visit his clinic daily and thus again became dependent on my friend to take me. He was preparing for CAT and hence had a very busy schedule after coming back from office. But he was kind and caring enough to take me their daily, sit for an hour during the session and then bring me back to home. I went through hot wax treatment, ultrasonic treatment and then the physical exercise for about half an hour and then the hot water fermentation after coming back. The pain was immense and was not settling even after 7-8 days. The 10 days session became 20 days and then another extension of 15 days. But still the pain was not settling in. And the movement of hand was restricted. My hand was not able to rotate. And it was early summers. I was warned that the situation will be worse during the winters. I was getting impatient. X-rays were done again and it was found that the bones have slight overlapping. The surgery could improve the movement but will reduce the gripping power of hand.
It was not good. The physiotherapist also gave up on me.
And, i had to be satisfied with whatever progress i made. As the doctors always promise that it will improve with time and all. I started working and taking it as a regular thing. The pain subsided and eventually vanished. The movement is still restricted a bit. But it does not hamper any work.
………………………………..
And with that the diary entry revisiting the accident comes to an end. It has been a year now. Due to many many many such incidences i declared 2011 the worst but most happening and most learning year of my life.But such experiences are never worth having and going through. With a prayer that God keeps us away from such events I once again repeat my belief, which holds good and will always be.
“Whatever happens, It happens for good.”
“जो हुआ, अच्छा हुआ, जो हो रहा है अच्छे के लिए हो रहा है, और जो होगा उसमे छुपी हुई अच्छाई के बारे में हम अंदाज़ा भी नहीं लगा सकते”

The Injured me…. part 2

*Sigh*
The arm in a cast, doctor advising me for next few days and warning me for the night ahead, i was thinking about just one thing, how i am going to tell all this to my mom. How will i soothe her when she will start crying on her helplessness of not being with me. and next thoughts were how i am going to do my daily tasks with one hand for next few days.. which was going to be a very long time in real. About two months. Damn. Leave the office work or the house construction, what about taking a bath, washing clothes, changing clothes, brushing, shaving etc. The small things were more scary.
The doctor warned me against sleeping that night. The painkillers every three hours were supposed to keep the pain down. But the real pain was something else. It would come when i call home at 9.
That night my friend tried to give me company through the night, but i was ok. I was tweeting with single hand and telling everyone about it. My sister @sai_ki_bitiya got worried and scolded me for not riding the bike with precautions. She wanted me to show her the cast, but i was not able to as i did not have any webcam or a smart phone for that. I was supposed to be up for the entire night. and people were trying to keep me up by chatting with me. I told Arshdeep on gtalk. Just a acquaintance, a couple of meetings before that and still she was so much concerned. She actually told our another friend to chat with me just to keep me awake. That was awesomely cute and caring. With so many people showing care and love, i was thoroughly touched.
Counting your blessings is very important and helpful in keeping you cheered up.
The night passed with about an hour’s sleep in the end but with the hand in perfect position with help of pillows and blankets. The next day, i refused to stay at home and decided to go to office. It is funny how some silly games played at childhood come true suddenly. We used to play catching each other with running only on one leg. I found it very similar as i was trying to do the daily chores with single hand. One can imagine how i managed it all. I tried to take minimum help from my friend.
I finally called home. With trembling lips i started with sentence that there has been a little problem. And her reaction immediately filled tears in my eyes. She sensed it. and asked me instantly,” are you alright?”
I tried to tone down the accident news by mentioning few scratches and a precautionary cast by the doctor. She was worried but she acted strongly to give me moral strength. I tried hard to control myself and was just convincing her that it will be fine very soon. But of course, you can’t fool a mother.
The office went through fine with all the attention from everyone asking me about my accident and the cast. I was acting very casually and telling them that it is all fine and i don’t feel that sort of pain which they are expecting. The evening came, my friend took me again to the hospital for second x-ray to see whether the bones were connected  in proper location or not. The result was satisfactory and the revised medication was prescribed.
It was going to be a long 6 week cast and i had to live through it. My self respect ( or ego) was not allowing me to go to relative’s place who live in the same city. I decided to stay alone in PG. As per my mother’s instructions I informed them. They came to see me the next day and to my disappointment and satisfaction at the same time they did not offer me to stay with them.
The days went by slowly and i slowly became more and more self dependent. I did not go home during that period.
cont….